for you

or all the things which i have done,
i am sorry.

for worrying you,
causing you pain,
keeping you up at night
as you wonder whether or not
i’ll allow myself to retain life another day,
i am sorry.

for all of my selfish ways,
i am sorry.

for what i want,
cannot have,
but beg for anyway,
damaging your life
and making you hate me,
i want you to know,
that i am sorry.

if you can ever forgive me
for what i have put you through,
the things i have done,
the words said,
the emotions evoked,
then i hope you can still love me.

no matter what happens,
who else you love,
where you go in life,
don’t forget me,
as i try to make it
so that in the end,
i don’t have to say
i’m sorry,
but

thank you,
and

i love you.



(c)12.27.02/forsakenphantasm




apologetic syntax